The measures we go through to conceive.

As I was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital it hit me that I'm borderline insane.  Here I was amongst all of these people getting ready to be cut up with the hopes of one day taking a baby home.  No guarantees just a increase in the success rate.  My DH still felt the surgery was unnecessary he just doest like hospitals, doctors, or blood.  I do enjoy watching him baby me make my love for him even stronger.  My RE assured me again that the fluid from the hydrosalpinx was toxic and not only could cause problems with implantation, but could cause  GYN problems in the future, and since I've been trying to conceive for over 10 years with no luck.  My mind tells me that my poor tube is not beneficial for me. My heart and emotions keep telling me not my freaking last tube.  Oh well...........

Bye bye tube and hydrosalpinx.  Fast forward getting out of surgery my RE meet me in recovery and confirmed there was more scar tissue than he was expecting and we would talk about that on my follow up visit.  Great just what I needed to hear him being apprehensive.  He also felt compelled to do a hysterscope and biopsy of my uterine tissue at the time of the laparscopic salpingectomy.  Once again the measures we go through in the IF world.  I'm praying the changes in my uterine tissue was because of the fluid from this hydrosalpinx that has been there for over 7 years draining in my womb.  I know all will be okay, and we will be starting IVF soon, and I will be a mommy before 33. 

Well the pain is hitting me now time to take some pain killers and lay down.

Words!

This is my first blog post yeah for me!!  Today I was just thinking for two years I have being going through infertility alone, and how grateful I am to have discovered the ladies on You Tube who had published their most private endeavors on the web.  The funny thing about it all when I searched You Tube for IVF I was wanting more information on the actual procedure.  But my almighty Father knew I needed a stronger support system, and he showed up again.  And now I hear stories of other women in similar situations facing the same challenges, wanting the same outcome. GOD is so good. Because no one I knew had ever been down this road I getting ready to embark on.

Ive used grateful and thankful so much in my life.  But I'm blessed to have found some amazing women and able to hear their stories.  So I will begin to tell my story, and perhaps I will also be a blessing to a fellow sister going through this tough time of if.  

I just keep reminding myself this is prep work, cause GOD is going to use me to do some amazing work for him.  And I will be ready.  I had a dear friend ask me the other day.  Do I feel my faith would be as strong if I didn't  have to go through this?  I've always had faith, but my faith now is so deeply rooted in his word.  I could not give an honest answer because that's not the path I'm currently walking.  I'm walking the infertile path, and I'm faithful in his word and his will.  

If you are dealing with IF you know on some days your faith is tested and your strength weakened. But I know through all of my struggles its developing me.